Biblical Marriage

For Pre-Marital Counseling both Nick and I had to compose a Biblical definition of marriage.  Of course, as is anything I do which includes having to write something, mine was pages long and his was a nice, neat, concise long paragraph.  Regardless of those little details, I thought I would post it here because it was interesting to me, and because it stirred in me not only questions upon questions about married/planning-to-be-married people who have not planted their marriage in and upon Christ, but it also set in front of me some serious challenges for my upcoming (FAST!!!!) marriage, and reignited a passion and desire for in depth Bible study.  That being said, my definition: 

A Biblical marriage is one that first and foremost has Christ at the center (you know, the whole triangle analogy, as we draw closer to the Lord so also we draw closer to each other.]  Our ultimate purpose each day should be to glorify and serve God as we love one another, and out of the overflow of our service to God will (ideally) come a desire to honor and serve one another. 

A Biblical marriage should reflect that of the church’s marriage to Christ.  Just as Christ is the head of the church, his body of believers, so also the husband should be the head of the marriage relationship.  Paul writes also that husbands should love their wives as much as their own bodies, and take care of them, sacrifice for them, and protect them, just as Christ does for the church, his body and bride. 

A Biblical marriage should be one in which wives submit to their husbands as to the Lord.  According to the Merriam-Webster online dictionary, submit is defined to mean “yield oneself to the authority or will of another; to permit oneself to be subjected to something,” and so on.  Not once does it say, allow oneself to be walked on and ordered around by one’s authority; to let another person control and coerce you into servanthood, or anything else equally as demeaning.  Submitting oneself to the authority and will of another, the husband, is done out of love, respect, and honor to him.  And in return for said respect, the husband will love, care for, protect, and make sacrifices.  It is not a lordship, but an equal partnership in which both respective parties play their part in making the relationship work.  [Both submitting or both trying to be the leader would simply not work.] 

Eph 5 :21-30 says “Submit to one another out of reverence for Christ.  Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord.  For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior.  Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.

Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish, but holy and blameless.  In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.  After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church— for we are members of his body."

A Biblical marriage is one in which both parties challenge and are challenged daily to become better and more devoted to one another and ultimately to God.  Hebrews chapter ten, in reference to the church, tells them to keep meeting together in His name, to “spur one another on toward love and good deeds,” to hold tight to what they claim to believe.  Those of us who choose to enter into a marriage that is founded on Scripture and in Christ are lucky enough to have a Christian partner by our side every day.  We should humble and submit ourselves enough to learn from one another how and grow from each other on a daily basis.  I believe one of God’s main purposes when He created marriage was to teach us how to better love and understand Him as we learn to love and understand one another. 

Just as we will be challenged every day to lay down our pride and selfish desires and motives to love and serve our spouse, so also we are called to lay down our pride and selfish ambitions and submit ourselves to Christ each day.  We will be challenged to display unconditional love, patience, forgiveness, humility, respect to one another, just as Christ daily demonstrates those characteristics to us.

Mental Health Night.

Last night I took a self-declared, much needed mental health night.  I finished work around five and did some of the things I love to unwind and take advantage of my evening off (skipped class).  I went to the grocery store (twice), which I LOVE to do.  [I recently decided I probably love grocery shopping, menu planning, and cooking for myself so much right now because amidst all the uncontrollables in life those are things I can actually have some say and control in.  ...ended a sentence with a preposition...bad.  whatever.]  Anyway, I went to the store, came home, sat around and did nothing, baked some (crumbly, but) yummmmy cookies, and shared some with the poor babies writing their senior integration papers.  [I say poor babies with the highest amounts of respect and sympathy, as well as empathy, as I know, as much as anyone, how aaawwwwffuuullll writing those papers can be.  Luckily it pays off in the end as a) you will be able to say you produced a short novel, in just a measly 3-6 weeks; b) you will have learned an ABUNDANCE of information; and c) you will feel INCREDIBLY accomplished and relieved, able to spend the rest of your semester away from the library and never doing another word study or reading a commentary again... ok, ok, we will all read commentaries again.  just no more word studies.  maybe.]


I went on to get a nice eight or nine hours of sleep and have class this morning canceled.  YES.

In other news, I have been very challenged in my thinking over the past few weeks, and by that I mean I have realized that the College of Ed may be trying to brainwash me and trick me into pushing my beliefs and morals to the backburner upon my entering the schools.  Lucky for me, a few wise individuals in my life as well as my good old intuition and moral code have begun to kick in, reminding me what it means to live a life that is in the world but not of the world.  I was reading in John 17 the passage in which Jesus prays for his disciples, preparing them for a time when he would no longer be with them, that they might live as he had, in the world, but not of it, that they would be one as Jesus was one with the Father.  Upon talking to one of said wise individuals in my life about my inhibitions and fears about becoming a teacher, about my worries that my beliefs will be challenged and I will be torn between standing up for what I know is right and having to tolerate and perhaps even ignore behaviors I know are wrong, about how I am scared, because I know what I believe and what is right and know that I am in the minority...so said wise person reminded me that, while it may seem like sometimes I am alone or in the very minority of believers and faithful, that given time, I will find others who are in the field as a ministry, they are just harder to see at first, when all I see and hear is negativity and conflicting ideas and thoughts.  [Holy rambling paragraph!]  As I was saying, Jesus is praying that God will band the disciples together, make them unified with each other and one with the Father, His Father, God!  Just as they were called to stand, unified, strong in what they believe, grounded and one with the Father, so too we are called to stand, unified, strong in what WE believe and grounded and one with our Father.  God is so good, and ultimately in the end he will win, he will win the battle against Satan and against this fallen world, and I am faithful to believe that is true! 

"I thank my God every time I remember you.  In all my prayers for all of you, I always pray with joy because of your partnership in the gospel from the first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus." Phil 1:3-6

Recently.

  A million things to say but no words to say any of it.

"The LORD is my strength and my song;
       he has become my salvation.
       He is my God, and I will praise him,
       my father's God, and I will exalt him." 

Exodus 15:2

Taking Control.

1. To eat this week:  spaghetti and broccoli.
                                       grilled chicken salad and black beans.
                                       bbq chicken pizza and corn.
                                     
2. To work out this week: run at least twice before Friday.
                                                 bike at least twice before Friday.
                                                 lift at least three times before Friday.
                                                 do a lot of crunches.

3. To read this week: Cockroach.
                                         articles for [all] classes.
                                         TheImperishableSeed.com.
                                         blogs and stuff.

4. To plan: invitations.
                     think concretely about reception decor.
                     weekends until August :/ [oh wait..already done].

5. To write: letter to friend.
                       at least one more blog post.
                       my definition of Biblical marriage and why I want to marry Nick. [for counseling]
                       poem for class.

6. To do: survive while doing all those other things.

Schmenu plan..

Ok so I was a little lofty in my healthy eating goals for this week and forgot to consider anti-healthy food man aka Mr. Brown my fiance, who can somehow eat whatever he wants, whenever he wants, in whatever quantity he pleases, and fit in all his clothes still.  Oh to be a strong man who only works out twice a week and doesn't count a single calorie... ;)

But seriously, I did alright following the menu and eating breakfast and semi-healthy lunches.  And while I did not make it to the Rec... even once this week (dangit), I did workout at home every night I think.  Small lifting, workout video, and on-my-own stuff.  I have also been trying to get hotter legs (sorry any boys who read this), and thus have been doing lunges up and down the hallway from my bedroom to the kitchen almost every time I make the trip. 

That being said, this was a self-declared strength-training week, and I think I am caught up/actually ahead for once on homework for next week so I should be able to get back on track with the sister and the tri-training. 

Thursday nights are some of my favorite nights right now.  Almost every week without fail Nick and I (and Kai for at least some of the evening) sit down and watch most of the shows we have DVR'ed at his house.  [Burn Notice, The Office, Community, House, Biggest Loser, the list continues per how long all of us can actually stay awake.  The show-watching usually continues on Saturday afternoons and late nights.]  And we usually don't eat super healthy...like there is often some sort of ice cream involved... ;)  But I love it.  And I love Nick (and Kai, like a brother love).  I am SO excited to get married, by the way, and in 99 days I will be Mrs. Nick Brown!!!!!!!!!!!

I love love, and I thank my God for the love he has lavished upon in the form of relationships with other people. 

Menu Plan Monday.

More than almost anything I want to be organized and in control of my life.  I have a huge tendency to get overwhelmed and stressed (and in doing so take out said stress on the fiance'), and in this semester of a million and one things I have to work very hard to not go crazy.  That being said, I have been religiously writing in my planner and working pretty hard to stay on top of the reading and homework I have due each day in class.  (If you know me at all, you know this is a giant struggle of mine.) I have also been trying hard to think about whether or not the item of my stress is worth my emotional commitment.  I have also (also) been working on thinking in a more cyclical sense, in that I am attempting to look at issues and points or conflict from more than just my (super-stressed, tired, moody, grumpy, whiny, emotional) point of view, and to remember that no matter how much I think and wish certain someone(s) knew what I was thinking, keeping my mouth shut and pouting says nothing but "something is wrong and it is probably your fault, but I am too stubborn and grumpy to deal with it/you right now." 

This week I am doing a few things to continue becomming [more] organized:
1. MENU PLAN MONDAY!  - Ok, confession.  I LOVE mom's that blog all about their cute little lives, their kids, their husbands, their frugality, and most of all, their weekly menus!  I secretly (no longer secretly I guess) want to be just like that!  Super cute and fun and organized... and with time to blog and let people read all about my lovely life.

Glad I got that little secret out of there... Anyway, this week I am trying the whole menu-planning thing.  My mom used to have a little list of meals for the week on the fridge and let Sarah and I help pick what went on each day and go grocery shopping with her or my dad, and I loved that!  I also really think menu-planning will help me eat out less, save money, and be healthier.  So here is my first try:

Monday:
Black beans and brown rice
Chicken
Broccoli

Tuesday:
Chicken Stir Fry (which, btw, I am unsure of how to make...help?)
Brown Rice
Veggies

Wednesday:
Chicken Enchilladas
Chips and salsa
Corn

Thursday:
BBQ Chicken Pizza (homemade)
Broccoli

Friday:
TBD

Ooook, apparently all I eat is chicken.. whoops!  Blame that one on the good 'ol Campus Center.  MCC4L :)

Anyway, I love cooking and fixing meals and eating (lol), and definitely find making dinner to be a nice stress reliever and calming time for me, so hopefully this will be a good (better than last) week for me.

OH and in case anyone is wondering, triathlon training is...coming along.  PtL it is not until the end of summer or I would never have a chance at being in shape.  Registration is this month though, so soon there will be no backing down!

Anyway, rough last week means a better this week.  You look good, you feel good, right?  Let's hope so. 

Peace and Love.
:)

PS. I said I was working on a number of things, but now that I wrote that whole post about eating I can't seem to remember the rest.  Oh except I have been trying to wear matching socks more often.  Socks have never really been a huge priority to me in the past, but of late I have been working a tiny bit harder on making sure the socks I am wearing are at least right-side out and the same style.  Oh and clean...ish.  I just remembered that because I went to put on some socks.

Ok bye.