this is my prayer in the desert.

All of my life
In every season
You are still God 
I have a reason to sing
I have a reason to worship.

My purpose is not serving other people. 
My purpose is not pleasing other people.
My purpose is not to be perfect.

I am fallible; I will fail; I do fail.  Perfection is unattainable. 

["This righteousness from God comes through faith in Jesus Christ to all who believe. There is no difference, for all have sinned and fall short of the glory of God, and are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus." -Rom 3:22-24]

My purpose is to serve a God who is worthy of my praise.
My purpose is to live a life to please my God. 
My purpose is to strive to live a life that reflects the perfection found in God. 

I was created to serve God, to show his love to others, to further his kingdom.  And at that, I want to excell, at that, I don't want to fail.  Everything else should come.  

I will rejoice
I will declare
God is my victory 
And he is here.  

Sometimes I feel like I am on the outside of my life, watching it happen, with little to no control over the outcome. 

OOOOOOOOOklahoma

...where the wind comes sweepin' down the plains.

This post started differently.  I was in the process of making a list  of all the reeeeaallly awesome things I had done so far this blissful, stress-free Spring Break.  However, once i got to hung out with friend yesterday, it turned into something different:

- Graded papers with my poor poor first-year-teaching friend, who has just about the most unfortunate class/school situation ever.  [Which, speaking of said bfitwwwaafouwd, she is MOVING so soon to MARYLAND, and folks, Maryland is over 20 hours away from Manhattan, and let me just tell you, FRIEND, we can't exactly sit on porches and drink lemonade and watch our children play in the yard from 20 hours away... lucky for you, I'm not actually mad, just realized yesterday though that I am sad.  5 hours DNE 20, and a plane ticket costs more than a tank of gas.  I suppose it is time to start planning my family vacations to Baltimore... get ready to resurrect THE BIG TEAR, start in depth discussions about Beanie Baby bunnies, for me to keep cheering for the Colts even though I hardly even know where Indiana is, picking outfits for dolls that look like us, eating chocolate chip pancakes (with the appropriate amount of syrup of course), staying up late late late giggling times a million about who even knows what, practicing our gymnastics (you physcially, me mentally...as in via the Olympics and Shannon Miller), shopping for pj pants, ignoring each other (ahem, me ignoring you...still sorry for that one) on the first day of school, baking baking baking, Christmas parties, growing up from little bitty silly girls into beautiful, grown up, adult women who are getting married and becoming teachers, wives, and developing into servants of an awesome and mighty God.  Girl, I can't even believe how far we've come.  16 years.  Here's to the future of long-distance best friendship!  I love you, mbf.

 [We were very attractive in high school.  Very attractive.]

I sure am lucky to have been blessed enough to have so many beautiful, wonderful friends who mean so very much to me.  I am high on the list of of bad friends, and am so SO grateful for friends kind and wonderful enough to stick by me for the long haul.  Thank you, Lord.

"A man of many companions may come to ruin, but there is a friend who sticks closer than a brother." -Prov 18:24

Just  a few more days until a much needed rest at home with Mom and Dad... so ready.

Until then.