Oh Phew.

1. I cannot stand Shakespeare. The plays, the sonnets, the man himself; I can't stand any part of it. I blame, in part, my Intro to Shakespeare class and teacher, as I do not recall having such a great dislike for the subject before this semester, but nonetheless, even the mention of the name annoys me. I am currently reading a synopsis of the life of William Shakespeare and trying to memorize three different parts of the play within a play during A Midsummer Night's Dream to perform in class next week for extra credit. Did I mention I am playing three separate parts? At one point in the scene two of my parts are supposed to interact and talk to one another. I'm not sure how that is going to work...

2. I think I have the Swine Flu. Ok that's not true, I have zero flu-like symptoms, but I do think I might be getting sick again. This year, man, I have been sicker and incapacitated more than probably the last ten years combined. I feel right now the same as I felt a month ago at the beginning of my mystery, undiagnosable illness. I sure hope I don't get that sick again...especially not until after Wednesday of Finals Week, and for that matter, it would be nice if it were after we get back from Colorado, OH and really, if it could wait until after the second week of June when my summer classes are over, I would appreciate that too. Really, I just want to never be sick again. Please.

3. Today one of my favorite brothers (as all of you know, I have no actual brothers) showed up in our driveway after we got home from work/the grocery store. First of all, he rode up on a red motorcycle bike of some sort, and second of all, it was great to see him! He ate dinner with us and played guitar with Kai for awhile, at the same time catching up with us and catching us up on the wild adventures he has been having since leaving Manhattan. He is just returning from a trip (on said hazardous motorcycle) through South America with a friend from home, and is on his way to Alaska to work with fish and boats for the summer. [Don't get me wrong, we all know how much I love routine and consistency, but a small part of me would love to just save all my money for a few years and then take off and travel and experience the adventure and spontaneity of not knowing where I was going or what I was doing.]

4. I have recently decided my calling in life was not only to be a middle school English teacher, but also an editor! I realized soon aftter the decision that I'm going to need some people to start writing books, articles, etc. and ask me to edit them in order to establish any credibility, so if you all could start doing that it would be great. Thanks. I am serious about the editing thing though, however am not sure how one goes about becoming a part-time editor... any words of counsel or wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

5. The fam has decided to go on vacation to the exquisite and luxiourious Kansas City this summer. We will be spending one lovely weekend soaking up the rays and enjoying the sights (ok, ok, we'll probably go to a Royals game and the Plaza and stay in a nice hotel) sometime this summer. We thought it would be better than spending a ton of money going somewhere when, in all reality, we will have most of the same fun spending time together and only have to drive two hours there and two back (AND of course stop by Grandma and Grandpa Troutt's on the way!)

6. Seriously though, it better stop raining and get hot and sunny so I can start getting tan for summer. I am pale, reeeeally pale, and want to go on a walk, sit in the backyard, play catch, and have another back[side]yard bash. Only a few more days of classes and those things will come. [For some of us unlucky folk, those things will come, but only when the big, black desk chair in Admissions is not holding us hostage from the glorious days of summer. Working in the summer, its the pits. I belong at camp or the lake, maybe camping in the mountains or watching tv for 4 hours in my pajamas, not at the office. Oh well, growing up and paying bills, suckkkyyy.]

7. The Lord is so good to me. Despite all the trials and pain, the confusing things and the lonliness, He shows me new love and mercy every single day. He is overwhelmingly evident in my life, my relationships, and in creation (especially the weather, my favorite). I watch as he works in the lives of those around me, preparing them to serve others and change lives they have yet to meet in places they have never been. I wait (im)patiently for things to happen, jobs to come and houses to sell. I pray for change in me and in others, I ask for passion, for peace, for wisdom. I thank God everyday for the people in my life that set an example of compassion, kindness, real and deep love. I am truly grateful for my family and friends and am blessed beyond understanding.

We sang a song in chapel on Tuesday and the lyrics in the chorus really stuck in my head.

I will live to love you.
I will live to bring you praise.
I will live a child in awe of you.

"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." -Eph 5:1

Overwhelmed.

I sit here, with a TON of reading and homework to do, all of last week to catch up on, and can't focus on any of it. I have so much on my mind and heart and all I can do is blankly stare. Don't tempt me with apathy or comfort, no no, I am easily swayed by such things. Run, run the other way. I don't have time.

All I have heard myself say in the last how many days, weeks, months is how much time I don't have. Over and over, I selfishly complain about the pages I still need to read, papers I have to write, work I have to do, events I have to plan, sleep I would rather get, etc. What am I even doing to serve or better the lives of anyone besides myself? Where is my Bible and who am I praying for consistently? My temper is so short-fused and I am annoyed...at you, at the people I don't know, most of all at myself. I can't explain my confusing feelings and I don't know what I'm thinking. I am doing nothing but serving and worrying about myself.


"...do not worry about your life...Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them...Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?" Matt 6:25-27

"Then make my joy complete by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and purpose. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit, but in humility consider others better than yourselves. Each of you should look not only to your own interests, but also to the interests of others." Phil 2:2-4