Sooo after much denial and ignoring my problem(s), and I have a large number of them, I have decided to get a handle on it. them. err.. anyway. I am making yet another attempt to take back control (darn you life trying to steal it from me) of my life.
---SIDE NOTE: Marion and Nick are talking politics in here and have been for at least 37 minutes. Shoot me in the foot. I highly d i s l i k e politics, and even more cannot stand discussing them. I tried to listen for at least 7 of said minutes, and was very much embarassed by my lack of knowledge and intelligence, and have since jumped on the couch, eating approximately 700 calories worth of ice cream, written a short novel, saved a child from drowning, and decided to write this blog post---
ANYWAY. Due to my extensive experience with counseling (ie. training for camp team and RA four times, miniscule amount of fam/couns. classes, a few emails exchanged with the great and genius Dr. D., and of course, pre-marital counseling) I have been able to self-diagnose my INCREDIBLY obvious case of insecurity. i.am.insecure. PHEW that feels good to get out there. I'm actually not sure why I decided to post this, but since I read so many blogs [embarassed] and those wonderful people are so transparent with their lives, and I typically find myself associating with said lives and transparency, I will share.
Somewhere along the way Beth Moore decided she would write a book about me, and then take said book on tour and make boo coo [Americanized version of the French term beaucoup meaning much or many] moneys and have loads of fun times talking to every woman ever about it. Talk about unfair. [jk to the max, btw, her book is SO good.] But seriously, her newest book So Long Insecurity is phenomenal and speaking directly to me, thank you Lord for Beth Moore and her book! The best part about it is it is completely based in Scripture and research and all points straight back to God being our supreme healer and source of security and peace. ["I have chosen you and have not rejected you. So do not fear, for I am with you; do not be dismayed, for I am your God." -Isaiah 41:9-10] There have been a couple of sections that I have read and seriously been like, whaaaat, how does she know me?! I have only gotten so far as some of the root causes of insecurity, and, like I said, Beth Moore seriously wrote this book about me!
"But a history of unwelcomed changes can be a breeding ground for insecurity, because it invites you to become addicted to dread. You learn to live life with the constant expectation that something bad is about to happen. And because life is life, eventually something back will happen, deepening your committment to forecasting doom. You develop into your own false prophet, and if you don't stop yourself, you won't rest until you're proved true. It's a miserable trap of self-inflicted insecurity. You can cheat yourself of ever enjoying the terrific season you're experiencing because you're waiting any moment for it to change--and always for the worst... The truth is, God uses change to change us. He doesn't use it to destroy us or to distract us but to coax us to the next level of character, experience, compassion, and destiny (79-80)."
"Even when you are old, I will be the same. Even when your hair has turned gray, I will take care of you. I made you and will take care of you. I will carry you and save you." -Isaiah 46:4
"Whatever is good and perfect comes down to us from God our Father, who created all the lights in the heavens. He never changes or casts a shifting shadow. He chose to give birth to us by giving us his true word. And we, out of all creation, became his prized possession." -James 1:16-18
Hello insecurity, it's been nice knowin ya.
Peace and Love. and God. But mostly just God.